Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
