She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize