What did we do last night that was yellow?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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