At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
