I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
