I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
