i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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