HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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