cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
