once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
