No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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