Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
