remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
