If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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