the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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