I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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