So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
