Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
