I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
