we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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