Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
