i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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