Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have fence marks all over my body
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.