Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize