You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY