then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
