Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
