speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
