When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
