WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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