Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
