I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize