Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
