Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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