Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am available for nakedness
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So. Much. Porn.
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