piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
