You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
