drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
