I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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