I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
