I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
