Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she pinky promised me she was 18
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
