I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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