i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Everclear isn't food dammit
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize