That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
