my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
