Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
