I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
