He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
