cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
