If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize