is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just pee around me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
