Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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