So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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