I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize