im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
