please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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