I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
