I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is it penis luge time yet?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
