she was so not down for the gang bang
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
