Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
