And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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